Into the Sky

Hey Jesus, are you still on the cross
or are you feeling better?

Hey Jesus, will you come play with me?
Im ready and willing.

Won't you come...
down, down, down, down to the ground.
To the next to me place
with a smile on my face
and a song in my ear

Around
and around
and around
and around
and around we go

Hey Jesus, when I wave at you
do you wave back too?
Hey Jesus, when I'm feeling sad
do you feel sad too?

Won't you come 
down, down, down, down to the ground.
To the next to me place
with a smile on my face
and a song in my ear


Hey Jesus, if we throw these books
do you think they will fly?
Hey Jesus, can I touch the moon
throw me into the sky

And then I'll come....

down, down, down, down to the ground.
To the next to me place
with a smile on my face
and a song in my ear

Into the sea
Into the sea
Around and around
Around and around
Around we go...

Around
and around
and around
and around
and around we go


-Jason Upton
Beautiful People

Everything You Do

Everything You do I want to do with You
'Cause doing things with You it makes me happy
Everything You say I want to say it too
'Cause even when I say it wrong we just start laughing 
Merciful Father learning to trust You love me the way that I am
My simple desire to help You means more to You than whether I really can

-Jason Upton

Beautiful People 

Something amazing just happened!

I came to a coffee shop this afternoon. I ordered a hot chocolate, which came loaded with whip cream and chocolate syrup drizzled on top. This is something that in a former life I loved, and would down. I say a former life because for the last two months I have had hardly no sugar. While this sounds like a diet fad, it has been so much more than that for me. See, food has been something I have hidden behind. It has been a source of sin, a source of idolatry. Recently God invited me to come out of hiding. I feel for the last several years and then ramped up in the last two months, God has been peeling me like an onion. He has not sliced me open, but more pulled back layer at a time of things that don't jive with who he is. He has stripped me, layer by layer of my hiding spots: having to have everything all together, my wardrobe, my need to be needed, and now food (particularly sugar). At each layer, he has paused before hand and given me a choice, "Are you ready for me to pull this one back?" While I have hesitated at the oncoming pain, I have given him permission at each turn.

Now, I can confidently say that I am on the verge of the greatest intimacy I have ever had with the Lord and I believe it is coming because these layers are being removed. Today, I ordered my hot chocolate, a symbol of the slavery I once lived in. Tears came to my eyes as I drank half the cup of hot chocolate and was done. I didn't want any more. I enjoyed the little bit I had, but then put it aside and am done. The full cup of hot chocolate was a symbol of my enslavement. The half empty cup of hot chocolate is a symbol of my freedom. I can't even express the contentment and joy that is welling up inside me. I am a loved child of God. Oh how good he is that he can bring good news for the poor, healing for the brokenhearted, freedom for captives, open prison gates for the bound, comfort for those who mourn, beauty for ashes, oil of joy for mourning, garments of praise for the spirit of heaviness. He has called me an oak of righteousness, a planting of the Lord, for the display of His glory.

I don't deserve a love like this, but I receive it. Today I rejoice over my half drunk cup of hot chocolate!

A picture of Grace

I'm watching The Mission. This movie has the best picture of grace I have ever seen. Rodrigo Mendoza is a Spanish mercenary, slave trader and murder in South America. He killed native indians and sold hundreds into slavery. One day in a rage he killed his own brother.

A priest asks him if he has the courage work out his penance. He chooses as his method of suffering toward repentance to carry his own armor tied behind him, up the mountain amid steep waterfalls. For miles, he trudges falling beneath his load. Finally, he and a group of priests make up the waterfall where he is faced with the violent tribe of indians from whom he stole, enslaved and killed.

A young indian man runs up to him with his weapon drawn and anger in his face. With his knife at Rodrigo's throat, the man suddenly changes. He moves his knife away from the vulnerable spot between life and death. He moves his knife to the rope tying this man to his slavery, to his armor. He cuts the rope and sends the armor sailing into the river. Rodrigo weeps as the community comes around him and embraces him.

The ones who had suffered the most at the hands of this man, were the ones who offered life, hope, grace, when they could have given death. GRACE! this is truly a picture of grace.

My Conversation with Jesus in Church

This Sunday, as I sat in church, God came down and talked to me. It took the form of a journal entry. He spoke to me through my own handwriting. He perpetuated the theme of this season: Time to come out of hiding. Layer by layer, God has been stripping me of my coping mechanism, my hiding places, my misbehaviors, my sin... basically everything that comes between me and Him. I am so grateful for this difficult process. Thankfully He hasn't stripped them, but He has faithfully peeled back layer at a time.

This one, on Sunday, came after a few days of doing things intentionally my way. See there is a time when our coping mechanism and hiding places become disobedience, and disobedience lived in too long is rebellion. I think God has some things to say about rebellion in the Old Testament; in short, it is a big deal. The conversation this Sunday was really sweet. I saw my labelled hiding spot as a giant heavy and nasty cloak I have slung over my shoulders. It represents the lies I am believing, the negative emotions that follow the lies, and the unhealthy patterns that follow the emotions. All of these are weighty, oppressive, and quite frankly really nasty. I saw and felt this cloak. Suddenly Isaiah 61 came to mind. He has come to give me good news. To trade that nasty, heavy cloak for the garments of praise, the oil of gladness, the light of His presence. He wants to give me a new cloak, one that has been dipped in the blood of His Son.

Here is what it takes: I have to take off the old cloak, lay it at His feet, and accept this new garment. To know this truth is enlivening. Then comes the obedience of wearing His clothes. So He dispells the lies, he comforts the negative emotions, and asks me to obey in changing the unhealthy patterns. I know He will not leave me a lone, but I also know the expression of faith is obedience. If I'm gonna wear His clothes, I can't go rolling around in the mud again.

blogging

I have been thinking about this amazing online phenomenon. Through Facebook, twitter, and blogs we get to paint a picture of ourselves. The amazing thing about that is how much control we have. We can paint the picture however we like. We can say whatever we want about ourselves for the recipients to believe. Face to face interaction is a lot more risky because we can't hide so easily. The outside world will more readily see when our talk and our reality don't match up. Online, what I say is real cannot be so easily refuted, and so I can portray myself to be whoever I want.

So here I am blogging. I truly use this as a way to process my thoughts, emotions, and happenings of a day. But now the question runs through my mind, "Am I being genuine in how I portray myself?" I have been quite honest in many of my blogs... but there is admittedly some concealment. Concealment isn't necessarily bad, somethings are too personal or could be harmful to share on the world wide web. But am I being true to myself in the portrayal I'm giving off?

I don't know the answer, but am mulling over the question.  

Purpose of the Church

I was recently talking to my brother about a huge transition his church is going through. They recently acquired a large and needing-a-lot-of-work church building. In deciding what to do with this building they brought in a consultant. This man pointed out that the building was further down the list than they all thought; there are other things more important that need to be fixed.

See, the church full of well-meaning, good Christians had lost its focus on what the church is supposed to do. This consultant laid out that the church exists to see people 1. come to Christ and 2. grow in Christ. This particular church, in the last few years had seen few people begin a relationship with Jesus, and few people in any form of discipleship group.

This church took up the challenge. Immediately they started evangelism and discipleship classes. My brother has shared that it has been a hard transition, for it is really hard to hear that you've dropped the ball. Amid the difficulty of this transition, this church has decided to fight.

As I listened to this story, I was deeply convicted. Not only is it the church's job to evangelize and disciple, it is also the responsibility of individual Christians. It is my purpose too. How many people have I shared the Gospel with in the last year? How many have I prayed for that they would receive Jesus? How many young believers have I mentored and discipled?

These questions hurt. I want to justify myself saying I work for a Christian school. I teach Bible, that's discipleship right? But if I really look at, I find the conviction lingers. Evangelism and discipleship involve intentional life on life relationships. I can't say I have that with my students. So I stand at a small crossroads. What will I do with this conviction?