On Saturday morning, I got the horrific news that one of my students had been randomly shot and killed on his way home from graduation the night before. My first thought was, "NO, not Mark." This boy loved Jesus. His life was characterized by it. He lead worship most chapels. Just a few weeks ago, after leading the song "You're beautiful," he talked about how much the verse about the wedding feast struck him. He said he couldn't wait till he was face to face with Jesus. In fact, he wrote a blog entry (his last one) about Heaven, a place of no more tears and hurt. He blogged about how badly he wanted to go there.
I was in shock with the news. Just two days before he had sought me out, asking if I would write him a recommendation for a scholarship for those wanting to go into ministry; he thought it would be good for me to write it since he and I had talked so much about different avenues of ministry and schools that would prepare him for it. Just a month before, he stopped me in the hallway. He asked me if I read a book called "Love Does." When I said I hadn't he pulled it out of his book bag and hand it to me. He had been toting it around in case he saw me because he knew I would like it. He was thoughtful like that. I was rushing to finish it by the end of the school year so I could give it back to him. Now it sits in my teacher bag reminding me of this sweet boy.
As I have been processing his death, many thoughts have come to mind.
First, death hurts so bad because we were never meant to go through it. While it is natural in the sense that everyone must die at some point, it is unnatural in that it is not how things are supposed to end.
I also think of how much I want my little Lucy to grow up to be like Mark. I want to be careful that I don't memorialize him as a saint. He was human and sinful. But he loved God and he loved people. This has now been the prayer that is epitomized as I think of the little girl growing in my belly. I pray that when she is 17, people know that she loves God and loves people like Mark Rodriguez did. I know Mark would not want to be worshiped, but would point everyone instead to the God that is Alone worthy of worship. I believe many will worship the God of Mark Rodriguez, so I pray one day, likewise, many will worship the God of Lucy Wetzel.
My next thoughts have been at what God might do with this tragedy. A void is now left at our school. I ask who will now call the students to live for God? Who will fill Mark's shoes? God has answered me that because of Mark's death many will stand in the gap. Many will rise up from this as strong warriors of the faith. My prayer for revival has been renewed. Who better to go to heaven than the student we don't question is there? Who better to call more to walk with God, than the one who walked with God so faithfully while alive? I am praying that hundreds will give their lives to Christ through the testimony and death of this young man. I am praying that revival will hit Norfolk Christian School in a powerful way. I believe that God is saying yes as the Gospel is being clearly preached throughout our entire area.
Certainly not my last thought, but the last one I will share here is one that every parent thinks at a time like this, "Oh God, please don't let that ever happen to me." I would be happy to lay down my life, but would be devastated if God asked me to lay down the life of my child. I hope I never have to experience what his parents are going through right now. But then God redirects my prayer. I love this child growing inside me so much that I would hate to lose her. But I declare with everything in me, that when God calls her home, I will yet praise him. I will worship God with all that I am, no matter what. I hope I never have to see my little girl suffer, but if I do, I will still follow Him. I will still obey. I will still chose to love him. I will still declare his goodness. The most amazing thing about Mark's death is that the Gospel has been most clearly spelled out by his parents who have chosen to forgive and chosen to worship despite the horrific pain they feel. And so God is praised, despite all of this. So I pray my little girl has the courage to follow the God of Mark, and I pray I have the courage to follow the God of Mark's parents.
