New things

I love to go on walks. The fresh air and exercise really work to get my head cleared and sometimes filled back up. The walk a couple of days ago served to do just that. I realized afresh something I have long known about myself: I don't try things unless success is guaranteed. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of learning knew things. I will make grand lists. I will go online and research a contact person, a location, a time. I will write them all down with grand hopes of something new. But then it comes down to calling that person, going to the meeting, signing up for the class, and I chicken out. This pattern seems to be increasing as I get older and more comfortable in my ways. So on my walk the other day, I was thinking that this season is new and thus something new to be learned. Fear gripped me like a cold wind. The Holy Spirit like a trusty winter coat was there shielding me from this fear. "What are you the most afraid of?" he asked me. The answer: I am afraid of looking like a fool. "What will happen if you do look like a fool?" The answer: I'll be embarrassed.

Then the lyrics to a Bethany Dillon song came to my heart out of order and resounding like a gong.
"I believe in you. I believe in you. When nothing comes from tryin' Just remember I believe in you. Let me dream for you. I know it feels like every eye is watching you, waiting for you to fall, expecting you to lose. but I believe in you."

So here is the answer. I need to look like a fool. I need to try new things, even when nothing comes from trying. and my fear of looking foolish... Well, the Creator of the universe believes in me. What other opinion is there to fear?