What makes me alive...

A few nights ago, my roommate and I started dreaming of packing everything up, driving far off, and changing our lives. Well, I am a bit extreme, so I quickly got on line and looked up what it would take to do just that. What started as a dream turned into a possible reality. I'm not sure which of us figured that we were ploughing ahead without consulting The Author of our dreams to see if this dreaming was in line with His. 

So we prayed. I felt compelled to pray like I never have before. Instead of laying my plans before Him and asking for His approval or disapproval like usual. I decided to ask Him what His plans were and wait in silence till He answered. So my roommate and I sat in the living room carrying on a three-way conversation. It went something like this (I will only share what He told me, though He shared some cool stuff with my roommate at the same time):

- Lord, I confess I don't trust you very well. I want to grow in that, so I come humbly through this process. Lord, what is it that you have given me that makes me feel alive? 

- Writing.

-Lord are you opening a season of using that which makes me feel alive?

-YES!

- Lord are you leading me to use that which makes me come alive as a primary source of income?

- no.

- Lord, are you changing my circumstances so that in the near future (i.e.his summer) I should pack up everything and move?

He responded with nothing, so I thought maybe I asked the wrong question or in the wrong way. 

- Lord, are you moving me on from my current school right now? 

(the lyrics to a song came flooding to mind) "I just won't give up now, come to far from where I started from"

His conversation with me thus ended, having a surety of the near future, and an assurance of a heart desire. Tonight, I realized a little bit of the weight of the small dialogue God had conducted with me. He has made me to write. Eric Liddell once said that God had made him fast, and when he runs he feels God's pleasure. Well, I feel that way about writing. Sometimes I suffer from a lack of motivation. Sometimes it is hard, hard work. But then when my fingers hit the keyboard, I feel His pleasure.  Tonight, I saw how God used my writing for a greater purpose. I took someone's thoughts and made them flow and sound good. The thoughts are amazing, the vision behind them divine, and I have a part to play to get the thought and vision communicated clearly. God has a reason for my writing. Well, He has several reasons for my writing: my joy and feeling alive, my friend's expression of her dream, the encouragement of those who read it, and ultimate the glory of the God who delights in my writing.