Doing and Believing

 Recently, I finished Deuteronomy and a question I usually find myself answering for others came to my own mind. See, the end of Deuteronomy serves as Moses' legacy, his final words to the people he has reluctantly led. He lays out in vivid language the blessings associated with following God's ways and the graphic consequences of veering from that path. My mind was torn apart as I read that the consequences of disobedience are famine, sword, violence, a lack of God's presence and a flight of conscience. He describes mothers secretly boiling their babies for a little bit of meat to eat. It is truly horrifying, and something I know later actually happened.

The question: Where is faith in all of this? The focus of Deuteronomy seems to be works... obedience... doing? What about believing?

This line of questioning led me to search my own heart. I am finding that this current stage in my life does not have a lot of "doing." As a doer, I find this very difficult. So I began to question of the Lord if I am doing enough. The questions rolled in: does my life look different than the world? Do I follow your standards? If faith without works is dead_ where is my faith? Does my life reflect the words of love and faith that my mouth easily espouses?

But really if I am honest, that is not the core of my questioning. The core is "Lord, do I please you?" The question itself is painful. I want to know if my actions cause God pleasure. I want to know if He is proud of me. The questioning itself means that there is a small part of me that fears a negative answer. The question is painful, for the answer could be painful.

God gently led me to read 1 John. John mentions over and over again in this short book ways to know that you belong to Christ and are living for Him.

1.  Don't walk in darkness
2. Walk in the light (which means you have fellowship with believers and are purified from sin)
3. Don't claim to be without sin
4. Confess your sin
5. Keep His commands (which will make God's love complete in you)
6. Live as Jesus did
7. Don't hate your brother
8. Love your brother
9. Don't love the world (lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and pride of life)
10. Do the will of God
11. Remains with believers
12. Don't go away from believers
13. Don't deny Jesus
14. Acknowledge the Son
15. Remain in what you have heard 
16. Continue in Christ confident and unashamed
17. Don't continue to sin 
18. Do what is right
19. Love your brother
20. Don't hate your brother (these two John found worth repeating several times)
21. Love with actions not just words giving materially to those in need
22. Know God is greater than your heart
23. Do what pleases God 
24. Believe in the name of Jesus
25. Have the Spirit
26. Love others for love is of God, and so you know God if you love
27. Rely on the love God has for you
28. Accept the testimony that whoever has the Son has life

These fall into four categories: 

1. We obey and stop sinning
2. We love others 
3. We acknowledge Jesus is who He says He is and we rely on the love God has for us
4. We remain in the truth

All this is while we remember that God loved us first. He lavished His love on us by sending His Son to die for us so that we might be called children of God. 

God clearly showed me that I do have His Spirit. I confess sin when He makes me aware of it. I do obey, when He asks me to follow. I do believe that Jesus is the Christ and I do rely on the love God has for me. And when my heart condemns me, I know that God is greater than my heart and He will keep me. If I am not "doing" now, it is because He has not shown me what to do. 

My pastor in church said this line and I think it was God's capstone for me on the question of my heart: "Lord are you pleased with me?" 

He said, "God does not get rid of our sin, He covers it. He does not remove His wrath, Jesus absorbs it. God always calls in the debt owed Him, but Jesus paid it on our behalf. God always calls us to believe in what He has done for us in Jesus by the Spirit even before He calls us to obey. God is not pleased with us, He is pleased with His Son, with whom we are clothed." -Scott Osborne