Three weeks

I realized a few nights ago that it has been three weeks since I last blogged. Many reasons come to the surface. Mostly, it has been a hard three weeks. In this time period, I have struggled and fallen. I lived in open rebellion going back to old sins that I had once seen victory over. I struggled with energy and sleeplessness. I struggled with the hardest confrontation to date at work. I struggled with irritability and weariness. With all this spiritual and emotional upheaval, it is evident why taking time to type out my thoughts was not high on the priority list.

This blog has been a creative outlet for me. It has been therapeutic and worshipful. And so the other day on a walk around my neighborhood the thought came "I haven't blogged in a while." I was heartbroken. Creativity is the first to go when our focus is off of Jesus. So in the last three weeks, I have not been focused on Jesus. Like Peter I got distracted by the winds and the waves and started sinking.

As these thoughts came in, so did an awareness of something else. It started when my senses were assailed by a giant vine of honeysuckle. It was huge, growing unchecked up and around four trees in the parking lot. The smell was intoxicating and a taste of heaven. Then I noticed a single magnolia blossom on a large tree a little down the road. A smile crept from my heart to my face. I felt as if Jesus was walking beside me pointing things out, asking me to drink it all in, deeply. He gave me a spark of life that I had not been expecting.

He also gave me a message, one that I want to share on here, but something deep within makes me want to keep it a secret between me and my Creator. I can tell you this, though, He is faithful and He is close. I feel Him calling me to fix my eyes on Him, to run hard after Him, to seek intimacy and closeness. This is spiritual meat: to know Him in a new way... constantly going to a deeper level. So on my walk: I took a stand against my besetting sin, for I have been declared more than a conqueror, and I took hold of Jesus. I will have to do this again I am sure. But that doesn't take away from the beauty of doing it right now. I belong to the Lord. He holds my hands, looks straight into my eyes, and is content to know me and be known by me.

What a Wonderful Savior!